So, I know you tried your darndest to make that fancy thing on Pinterest for our party. We all make mistakes. But what I’d like to do is to commend you on how spectacularly and publicly you failed. You failed with such graceful, almost deliberate aplomb that I’m not entirely convinced that this happened unintentionally.
I’m starting to think you did this on purpose.
If this is the case, I think it’s high time for you to realize that this is no way to live. If this isn’t a cry for help, then you’re shooting for the cheap laugh, the lowest common denominator, and it’s standing in the way of snacks that might actually be edible, makeup tricks that might actually look good, and crafts that could probably make you a small amount of money, or at least help you take pride in yourself.
Is Pinterest Rage Comic really an ideal career path to take? Is this because I said your cum-bun earrings were “on the cheeky side”? Or your couples’ hand condom was a hand condom? Because I think your creative efforts far outweigh your talents for real-life trolling, they just need to find a proper venue. DIY is not your forte. That’s okay. Something else is.
Because seriously, we keep asking you to bring snacks to parties and you keep bringing us stuff like demented devil-rabbit buns. We just want to have snacks we aren’t afraid to eat. Buy something if you can’t figure something out. We’re not going to judge you.
Unless you keep trying to make things. Then let the judging begin.
Try nail art. We don’t have to eat it.
Everyone You’ve Ever Known