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MTV(other)’s Josh and Josh on Cheating and Dating Someone With a Kid

You're just a girl, standing in front of two boys, asking them when you should text your hookup and to please stop looking at your breasts.

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Hi, we’re MTV(other)’s Josh and Josh. We invited ourselves to write for this women’s web site because we have TONS of advice on what you care about most, besides yourselves: dating. We are expert dudes because we’ve been dudes for twenty-two years and we know what men want because we are men. So ask us questions! Or ask us if you can buy us like a remote controlled car and a six pack. The answer is yes. And be sure to watch our web series “Two Guys Named Josh” on Mtvother.com.

Dear Two Guys Named Josh,
My boyfriend kissed another woman when he was drunk at a party. He admitted it to me and promised to never do it again. Can I trust him? Please help!!
- Vivianne, 27, Detroit

Josh B: Whoa two girls? No fair.

Josh I: Yeah, share, bro-seph! He should have given the other one to his friend.

Josh B: Also, a man mustn’t be held accountable for his actions under the influence of drink.

Josh I: What did he promise on? Was it something he cares about, like a Bible or a DVD copy of Rango?

Josh B: At least he told you. I just found out that the woman I thought was my grandma is actually my mom.

Josh I: On scale from “on your period” to “Magnolia is out of cupcakes”, how mad are you about this?

Josh B: If the dude is hot enough, you should stay with him.

Josh I: Yeah. Send Josh B a picture. He’s an expert on hot guys. Like, who’s hot and who’s not.

Josh B: Ask the other girl if she would want to share your boyfriend, but make sure you get holidays.

Hey Josh & Josh,
I’m dating a guy who has a kid. I don’t know if I can see myself getting serious with him – I’m 22! – so should I just dump him?
- Jenn, 22, NY

Josh B: Whoa, the dude had a kid?!?

Josh I: No, Josh. [sighs] A woman popped a kid out for him and then probably died or something. Lady, I would just change my name if I were you and make like a tree and hide in the woods.

Josh B: If this kid is a baby, that could be fun, but if the kid is over two or three, that is hard work!

Josh I: If the kid is a girl and over eighteen, ship her to us. We will raise her.

Josh B: Make sure you poke holes for breathing!

Josh I: Listen — if he’s willing to pay you to babysit, you should super stay with him. I wish I had a job again.

Josh B: Josh I, can’t you get rehired at PetSmart?

Josh I: Nah, man — releasing all the birds at once is frowned upon at the PetSmart. Even though I explained to the managers that the freckly kid double-dog dared me to! So unfair!! Listen, you lady, if you’re not ready to be a mom, you can’t let a man force that on you. No means NO.

Josh B: No means no. …Unless you’re talking about butt stuff.

For more from the Joshes, click here. If you have a dating question that you’d like to ask the Joshes, send it to submissions@themaude.com with the subject line “Help Me, Josh and Josh!”

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