Wine spritzers are the Labradoodles of alcohol.
— Erica B (@SCbchbum) May 4, 2014
To get your derby horse name you take the name of your first nanny and the country club you grew up in
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) May 3, 2014
trying to prod a fishstick out of the wire slots of my toaster w a splintered chopstick is the closest i've ever come to "losing an account"
— Eudora Peterson (@Pjetey) May 3, 2014
why haven't regular teens outed avril lavigne as an imposter
— milt ronmey (@someofmybest) May 4, 2014
since nobody else seems willing to say it I will: everything should be much cheaper or free
— Mae (@mzeld) May 4, 2014
If I were a Kentucky Derby horse I'd be like bet on this then take a huge shit and go lay down somewhere
— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) May 3, 2014
My favorite kind of KY Derby has nothing to do with horses